Job Search Paralysis

January 29, 2015

Image of a stick figure with a blank thought bubble over head. Image courtesy of Microsoft Images.Last week, we wrote about Transforming Your Inner Critic and ways to deal with that voice in your head which can often turn negative and critical.

If you are job searching, your inner critic can keep showing up in a variety of ways. Maybe it is criticizing you for not having the right experience, the right degree or the perfect publication record? This voice can also become a refrain reminding you how many qualified candidates are on the job market, so “what chances do you have of actually getting that job anyway?”

Early and Weiss are two psychologists who identified seven types of inner critics. They created a questionnaire for you to see which inner critic might be problematic for you. The seven critics are: The Perfectionist, The Inner Controller, The Taskmaster, The Underminer, The Destoryer, The Guilt Tripper, The Molder.

We will look at a few of these inner critics in more depth. Maybe you will recognize which particular type applies to you and could possibly be impacting your job search psyche.

The Perfectionist
Perfectionists set extremely high standards for themselves all the time. In a job search, the perfectionist will wait for the “perfect” opportunity to come along and they won’t apply unless they see themselves at the perfect fit and meet 100% of the qualifications listed. Well, this rarely happens so the perfectionist will find themselves waiting for a while. Perfectionism can also keep individuals from actually finishing their resume or making a LinkedIn profile, thus stalling their job search even more.

The Underminer
This type fears rejection so much that this voice will continually warn you against taking a risk. It undermines your ambitions and motivations for moving on to bigger and better professional goals. This can keep you from considering any new change and can keep you stuck in the same job for too long.

The Guilt Tripper
By continually reminding yourself of mistakes, you can dramatically impact your self-confidence during a job search. “Remember that horrible interview answer you gave?” This voice wants you to believe that it wasn’t just one bad answer, but that you are a terrible interviewer and should just give up. The Guilt Tripper not only reminds you of actions you took but also actions you didn’t take. “You didn’t call your contact for an informational interview and you didn’t finish your project – you aren’t doing anything right.” This type turns your incomplete to do list into a personal attack.

The Molder
Encourages you to conform to a certain ideal or a preconceived idea. Molds come in many forms. Perhaps you believe you should follow in your parents’ footsteps and become a doctor? Maybe you feel you need to pursue a particular career path because of a degree you obtained? Individuals can even feel pressure from well-meaning career mentors who encourage them to pursue a path similar to theirs.

Maybe you recognize yourself in some of these descriptions? These inner critics can spur a background diatribe which enables individuals to come up with reason after reason to stay stuck in a job search that isn’t working. These voices often justify one’s procrastination and passive approach to the job search. How then can you overcome you inner critic and the job search paralysis it evokes?

Well, remember that the first step is to recognize your specific inner critic and then take steps to overcome it by remembering your achievements through positive self-affirmations and working to reframe self-doubt statements when they arise.

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Transforming Our Inner Critic

January 23, 2015

Everybody has an inner voice and it can help you think and guide your decision making. But what happens when that voice turns critical? In moderation, this can be helpful and even motivating. We can turn towards these critical voices, give them space, and find out what they are worried about so that we can release and relax. But, when that inner voice turns into a pessimistic monologue stuck on repeat or it multiplies into a whole committee of negative members, then issues arise.

The most common issue that results from an overactive inner critic is the impostor syndrome. The impostor syndrome is a psychological phenomenon where people are unable to internalize their own accomplishments. They see their success as chance luck or good timing. They believe that in time, others will recognize what they believe to be true – that they are not smart enough and that, in fact, they are a fraud.

Sound familiar? It probably does, because this syndrome afflicts many scientists and many well-accomplished individuals. As an example, Nobel Laureate Maya Angelou reportedly said, “I have written eleven books, but each time I think, ‘uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’”

Luckily, Angelou continued to write in spite of her inner critic. Take inspiration from her and begin to act on ways you can overcome your own inner critic.

Remember Your Achievements
Superstitious thinking often fuels the cycle of impostor syndrome, so think about your top three accomplishments. What are you the most proud of? Write these achievements down and then go into detail about everything you did in order to reach that goal. Be detailed and don’t be modest.

Reframe Self-Doubt Statements
“I can’t do anything right!” Respond to critical statements like this with a less universal and kinder viewpoint such as, “I had a rough day today; I hope tomorrow is better.” Take this a step further and instead of saying something vague like “I’ve had a rough day,” state the observation.  This is exactly what happened to me at this time/date/place. Observation is the highest form of communication and it can help lower the intensity of the emotion around that event.

Positive Affirmations
Saturday Night Live was on to something when they did skits featuring Stuart Smalley and his mantra “I’m good enough. I’m smart enough. And doggone it, people like me.” Come up with your own positive affirmations to combat moments when self-doubt pops into your head. It might take time to figure out the source of your self-doubt, but then create an affirmation that will directly combat that.

A helpful and free guided meditation podcast called “Getting Bigger than What Bugs You” can be found at Focusing Resources. Talking to mentors, peers, career counselors and therapists can also help immensely. You will most likely find out that you are not alone. You will never be able to fully silence your inner critic but hopefully, in time, you can turn down the volume.