When we left North Carolina 4 years ago, I worried about the impact our move would have on my then three-year-old son. He was very close to a small group of friends, enjoyed his daycare situation so much, and I was worried that uprooting him might be too stressful. My friends and family all shared the same response to my concern: “He’s so young, he won’t remember a thing!” Well, four years later, he still gets teary from time to time about missing his “friends from North Carolina.”
Leaving the familiar for the unfamiliar is difficult for all of us. We miss our old friends, familiar haunts, favorite activities. It is tough to move to a new city, new neighborhood, new school, new job – and to leave the familiar behind. Add to this other irksome details of moving – buying a house, selling a house, finding an apartment, packing, unpacking, finding your way around a new job, new community – and you’ve got a recipe for stress. All of these pieces can be triggers for stress, which is why moving is so often mentioned as one of the top stressors in life.
What is the best way to deal with the stress of moving? There are several resources available, some within OITE and the NIH, that will help you to stay sane and slowly build a sense of community in your new place.
- Get organized. Being organized, developing lists, and checking things off/getting things done will help you to move forward and get to know your new surroundings. Find the nearest drugstore, the cheapest gas station, the best bank for you, etc. Gather phone numbers from the parents of your child’s new classmates and seek referrals for pediatricians and dentists. Visit your town/city’s website to find out about recycling/trash pick-up, car registration, and other important information for new residents.
- Join in. Think about the activities you took part in at your former place of residence, and get involved in your new space. I have always been an avid hiker, so I looked into hiking groups in Connecticut after we left NC. The sooner you engage in activities that you enjoy, the better your chances of meeting like-minded people.
- Branch out. If you are not typically one to approach someone you don’t know, give it a shot. Introduce yourself to someone new at a lecture, standing in line for coffee, or anywhere else you happen to be on campus. Connecting with people will help you to become more fully integrated in your new community.
- Maintain old ties. Keep up with friends and loved ones after you get settled. While your relationships will change because of the distance between you, keeping in touch with old friends will help you through difficult moments in the transition.
- Use available resources. There are many resources available to you via OITE and the NIH to help you manage the stress involved with relocating. Be sure to check these out!
- Give it some time. It may take several months to a few years to become acclimated and truly feel a part of a new community. Give yourself a chance to readjust, and you will eventually feel at home in your new location!